I believe that God has been talking to me and trying to calm my fears. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart - Psalm 37:4. I read this in another blogger's page who was experiencing a similar situation to mine. When I read this, I immediately thought about my sudden desire to have another baby. I do wonder what the verse truly means. Has He put the desire into my heart or is He going to give me the desire of my heart? I also wonder if I actually delighted myself in the Lord, because I don't remember that part. I really didn't have an answer at the time, but the passage stuck with me.
A few hours after my last post, I was bombarded with imagery regarding those fears. Within a matter of hours I saw an ultrasound picture being displayed on television monitors; a baby on magnets that we give to the kids at church; a song that basically spoke to my miscarriage concerns; and the previous bible verse written beautifully on a bookmark. Prior to my christian transformation, I would regard these as coincidence; but now I believe that God is trying to encourage me on the path he has laid for me. Even as I write these words though, I still hear the thoughts of doubt trying to surface. This will be an ongoing battle but I intend to win with God's help of course.
