Just Hold On

For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. 
Though he brings grief,
he will show compassion, 
so great is his unfailing love. 
For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.
Lamentations 3:31-33

It is a terrible thing when we have to suffer.  We feel lost and alone with no end of relief in sight.  It is here in this defining moment when we must chose the path we will take.  Do we turn to our buddies Jack and Jose', maybe even MaryJane?  Do we run screaming from our troubles at dangerous speeds?  Many of us do. But where does it lead?  It usually takes us to places that will only bring more suffering which as I look back on my life, seems rather stupid.  I have been to those places many times and never have they helped me, they only bring me closer to the darkness.  Then there is the other path.  Jesus.  Do we turn our troubles over to Him?  Do we beg for forgiveness?  Do we reach out to others for help?  This is how we find relief.  Will this fix our troubles though?  Perhaps not, but by turning to Jesus we will be strengthened, refreshed and encouraged.  We will be able to endure whatever comes our way.  This theme has been surfacing lately through church and through my own journey through the bible telling me not that my suffering will end but showing me how to find joy, love and hope through this suffering.  So hold fast to God's word throughout each and every day. 


Its been awhile since I have visited.  Perhaps with a shiny new laptop, the completion of homeschool and the addition of meds I will visit more often.  Its been such a roller coaster lately, but oh so good.  I was diagnosed AD/HD early this summer, after suffering from a terrible episode of depression, but with the addition of Adderall in my life everything is so much clearer.  I didn't really believe I was AD/HD before starting meds but now that I have ben on them for awhile, I feel as though my life has been wasted until now.  Ok, so that sounds a bit overly dramatic but I look back at my life and I can see all of the different ways that I could have felt better about my life, in my life, around my life.  I thank God everyday for making me go to this saint of a doctor who actually listened to me, all my ravings and made really good decisions regarding my health.  So here are some things that I have been able to do since Adderall has joyfully entered my life:  clean kitchen, clean living area, begin organizing 38 years of clutter, control my temper, control my eating, lose weight (25 lbs), read the bible (at Jeremiah), be happier, be less anxious, listen when people talk, love my children more, love my husband more.  I could go on but then you would need Adderall to finish it.  Things are actually rough right now also.  We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog Daphne.  I am going to have to say goodbye to my most beautiful Princess who I have had since she was just a kitten.  We just found that our other dog has a tumor.  There are so many things we are also trying to get done that have overwhelmed me a bit not to mention playdates, homeschool, ballet, PE, bible study, exercise, blah, blah, blah.  I wonder where I would be if I didn't have Adderall to level this crazy playing field of life.  Probably sitting next to someone named Dandelion who periodically jumps up, runs around naked screaming about howling monkeys taking over the world.  So I will take my meds joyfully knowing that I am okay and even with all this craziness in my life, I am really happy. 


Darling Daphne

You came to us at the perfect time.  It was the day that our baby would have been born if allowed to live in this world, so we were feeling a little sad.  Then we heard Micah whining and running around like the crazy dog she has always been.  We thought it was a squirrel or a cat so imagine our surprise when we saw you from our patio.  You were the cutest puppy with your big, black eyes and droopy ears and I knew that God brought you to us to help ease our suffering.  You have given us more than you will ever know, filled our hearts with enormous joy and you will be forever missed my beautiful friend.  We will always love you. 

Daphne at 6 months

She has always loved camping.

Tim blowing kisses at Daphne.

Tim and Daphne hanging out.

Mission Tejas Campgrounds.

Posing on a stump.

Daphne at one of our last camping trips.

Me, Tiffany and Daphne.



Anthillvania is the story of the prodigal son told through a group of ants and was the story for the kids ballet performance this year.  It was so wonderful and I loved the story.  My sweet boy was a hopping bumblebee and my darling girl was a seed that grew into a flower.  They were both good.  Mr. Funny was so tired and I could see that there wasn't much bounce in his hop but he did great and had a great time.  Little Miss Chatterbox was amazing.  She dances very well, but she also did a wonderful job acting out her scene.  I was really surprised at how good she was. 

These are photos from the dress rehearsal. 
First up are the flowers waiting quite impatiently to go on stage. 

Here is my son and his future wife.  She is such a funny girl.  
She came up to me before the show and told me a secret, here is the conversation.  

girl: I have to tell you something but you have to promise not to tell ANYONE!
me: (enter fake enthusiasium) alright, what is it? 
girl:  I think i am in love with Mr. Funny (my son) and its just so
riduculous that I don't want anyone to know. (laughing at self)
me: (stiffled laughter) really??!!
girl:  Yes.  okay, i have to go and tell a few more people!

My son's classmates, they are butterflies and so pretty!

My little seed about to sprout.

After the perfomance.

Mr. Funny with his teacher who was so great!

Miss Chatterbox with her wonderful teacher
who is also so wonderful.

Videos from the Dress Rehearsal

These first two are of Mr. Funny and his group of butterflies
He is the first one and will be easy to recognize but I didn't zoom like I meant to so they are farther away.  The second one is just a short one that I was able to zoom in on quickly. 

These next two are of Miss Chatterbox. 
The first one they will be starting out as seeds before sprouting into their dance.
She is the yellow and orange flower in the front row.

These are funny! 
Mr. Funny got a camera from a garage sale and took about 60 pictures backstage so I am posting some for his benefit. 


Hippie Lost

Where has she gone?  Is she hiding by the river?  Perhaps, somewhere hugging a tree?  Sadly no, she is hiding somewhere in my mind.  I can feel her beating on her metal walls begging to be released not knowing why she has been bound.  How she got there, I do not know.  But soon, I will discover the key and set her free once more. 


Bon Appetite!

My sweet darling baby made us breakfast yesterday. 
Kitty Litter a'la Poo Poo.
We are willing to share.


Psalm 19:14

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.