Refresh. Regrow. Renew.

Much of who we are is measured by the events of our past. There are many things on my mind that I wish to write about but they require a background check of my past. I started writing about it yesterday thinking that I would be done quickly. Ha! Let me say that again. Ha! Ha! I began with my mother. I had been angry at my mom for her choices she made during my middle and high school year. Its funny how becoming a parent changes your perspective. I still agree that my mom could have made better choices, but after writing about her I can't fault her for any one of them. I love and appreciate my mom more today than ever before.

This may turn into a series, but I realized yesterday that I need to do this so I can get some of this off my chest and help put things in perspective. My life has been and still is full of drama which makes it difficult to go into every detail so if I have left a question unaswered feel free to ask, I am happy to share any part of my life.

Days of our Lives - Early Childhood

This part of my life is very much like a soap opera. My mom has been married and divorced twice and my dad has been married and divorced 3 times and is currently commonlaw married to my stepmom of 20 some years. They both have children from each of thier spouses. Yeah, this is where confusion comes into play. Needless to say I have plenty of brothers and sisters. I was raised with my mom, 2 sisters and one half sister who I have never thought as half. Mostly because we didn't learn of my mom's second marriage until she and I were adults (discussed later, maybe). My brother from my dad's third marriage lived with us for awhile also. But it was mostly just mom and us girls.

Bold and the Beautiful - My Mother

My mother had a very difficult life. My dad was a drunk and a womanizer. Mom's second husband was mentally unstable and may not have been abusive but became threatening enough to convince mom that it was time to leave. I am very proud of her for that, it would have been easy to stay. Thank you mom. She worked at a mill about 60 hours a week to supports us. This would be difficult for anyone but she had an additional burden to bear. When my mother was pregnant with my sister, she got sick with Rubella and Wendy was born deaf, legally blind, with mental retardation and severe heart problems. The doctor's gave her a life expectancy of 10 years involving multiple heart surgeries. I am happy to say that she lived until she was 26 and we had many wonderful times with her before God took her home.

At the time of the second divorce, my oldest sister was about 11, Wendy was 9, I was 4 and my little sister was a baby. I can't imagine what my mother went through at this point. Divorced twice, fearful of her ex coming after, the knowledge that she could lose her daughter anytime and having to raise all of us on her own. She managed to give us birthday parties and make our holidays special. There are not enough words to express now deeply proud I am of my mother for everything she sacrificed for us.