The fog is beginning to lift, but only slightly. Slightly is enough for now though. It started Wednesday night after I went to my first house church meeting. I was so intimidated by my surroundings. The houses in the neighborhood were stunning and huge. I kept driving looking at house after house thinking that they can't all be this lovely, then I would find another one even nicer than the last one. When I pulled up to the hosts house, I was speechless and the kids and I just stood there for a moment marveling. The inside was just as amazing as the outside complete with swimming pool, movie theater and a stunning view of the lake. Everyone was great, funny and they all seemed to get along so well. Would they like me? After all, I am a little different. As the night wore on, I knew that this group would be a good fit for me and it just felt right. The kids also liked it and now want to come every week. After the kids were in bed that night, I was reflecting on the night and realized that I was feeling happy. Whoa, back up! Where did that come from? That was the first time in months that I experienced that particular emotion. I just wanted to hang onto it but sadly, I was back to melancholy the next day. Friday I woke up and felt a little lighter, still sad but better and as the day wore on I found I could focus and concentrate on the more complicated tasks that I hadn't been able to lately and today, I feel that I can breathe. I am scared to think that I may be coming out of it because going back in is just intolerable. I only wish I knew why I sink into these depressive states but for now I am thankful for the good day I had yesterday and will be praying for the good ones to follow. Thank you Lord for seeing me through each day!
