Refresh. Regrow. Renew.

A true account of my journey into the wild of suburbia.

In between play dates today, I took the kids to a new park (new to us that is) and we spread out the blanket, had a picnic and read stories. It was a beautiful little park with a small meadow, a playground and a tiny pond. The kids asked if they could walk to the pond by themselves so I said sure. They waved sweetly from the other side of the pond as I watched my baby sleeping and the gentle clouds drifting by, taking on the shapes of various animals. On their way back, they were looking at the forested area when Benny decides to throw his favorite stuffed toy, Lizzie the Lizard, into the forest. I knew something was wrong by their urgent running, so after they explained what happened and where they thought it might be, I began the rescue mission. For an hour, I searched through branches, trees, spiderwebs and even came across two dead animals but no Lizzie. Lizzie quickly became the frightened lizard that I just had to find to that stupid toy I wanted to throw into the pond. I had hair sticking out everywhere, leaves and twigs were stuck in my ponytail and bugs were crawling down my back. In the end we had to say our goodbyes to Lizzie the lizard and I prayed that God would take good care of her by giving her to a small animal to rip apart and use for a warm nest. See you later, Lizzie!

You will find them masquerading as harmless little children. They wear their pretty dresses and pigtails then snicker with all the other little girls so we won't know. They put on their Spider man pajamas and give you kisses hiding their messy little secret. But as soon as it starts to sprinkle, their disguises melt away to reveal the filth of the MUD MONSTERS! If you are quiet (and have all your shots) you can sometimes get some pictures of them but be careful or they may just throw a mud ball at you. So be wary of those innocent children smiling a little too much, they could be a little muddy.

So many things to say but no time to play here on my happy blog. Maybe soon.

Its amazing how I have forgotten the time and energy a baby can take. I have 'known' that once my angel was born and I had recovered that I would jump back to the blogging world which I love and grants me some sanity. That has sadly not been the case. She is absolutely the most wonderful baby anyone could ask for but she takes so much of me and I am left exhausted but still so happy. I'm sure the blogging world can do without me for a time but I still want to visit and eventually move back here. Until then I am posting my partially finished posts that I have started over the last couple of months and hope that it will sustain me while I adjust to my new schedule.

These are incomplete as far as writing is concerned but the general ideas are present.

Mixed Emotions

We all love our children unconditionally . . . I just wished that I could always like them as well.


Surprise!

There were many things about having my third child that took us all by surprise. So naturally, I feel compelled to write them all down so they do not get sucked into oblivion like so many other memories.

Get Back, Kat!

The last year I have been lost in the discomforts of pregnancy but now I finally feel like I am getting back to where I once belonged. Instead of nausea, I am happily eating. Instead of shortness of breathe, I am taking in comfortable and glorious air. Instead of fatigue, I am . . . feeling exhausted but I still feel better now than before.

Now I get to experience the other side of pregnancy, which is life with a newborn and two rowdy, fighting kids. I am happy, excited, frustrated, irritated and sleepy all within a few minutes, then I repeat not always in that order but all symptoms are all present. I love my sweet baby, my rowdy boy and my head strong girl but I am already looking forward to time spent without all of them needing me simultaneously. How do you nurse a baby, break up a fight, find a missing sock while cooking a healthy meal? The answer is that you don't and you have to be okay with that.



Hard to Be Me

There are many days that it is so hard to be me. I want to jump out and say, ' This is Me and I am really okay!' but I am too worried of what others may think. I never want to return to my old habits but my friends in the drug and alcohol world were almost easier to be with. I knew that no matter how weird I was that they would thrive on it instead of looking at me like I was insane. But I am insane at times. I try to keep this side of me hidden as much as possible so that no one will see the real me. Is that what God wants for me? To stay hidden and worry about what others may think. I don't think so. He wants me to be who he created - someone who loves to help others, loves to listen to rock music too loud and enjoys reading about serial killers.


Most of my life lessons have been taught by those who are less than reliable. I need to be someone who lets others help and teach me about all the things that were not taught to me when I was younger. Someone who is willing to learn from those much younger but who have so much more experience in what it means to be a Christian and a follower of Jesus.

As I listen to the numerous and explosive sounds of fireworks being released in my neighborhood, I just want to scream! I feel like such a fuddy duddy who hates anything fun but I am beginning to hate fireworks! It never bothered me until I had children and sleep became a precious gift to me.If they weren't so loud then perhaps they would be alright but they waken my sleeping babes which in turn wakes me and makes me highly irritable. But I digress because I really do like fireworks . . . I just like my sleep more. Happy New Year!