My crazy mother just sent me boxes of clothes from my childhood days which would be really neat if they were actually my clothes. These are something the seventies chewed up and spit back out so they must belong to my older sister. We have however had some fun with one dress when I realized that I could fulfill Tiffany's latest request. She wants a dress that covers her feet.
On Valentine's Day, I was supposed to start my period when I thought, 'Maybe I should take a test just in case'. After all what better gift to give your husband on Valentine's Day then a new baby on the way. To my surprise that is exactly what happened. It turned out that I was pregnant. Wow! I really didn't see that one coming. I should have. Earlier that day, I was at the grocery store putting the test into my cart and as I start walking to the cashier I run into my Ob/Gyn. I knew that it must be a sign, but I quickly dismissed it as superstition. In the end, I guess it was a sign. Yea! So I am 5 weeks pregnant and already having symptoms of back pain, nausea and irritability. Its wondrously joyous to know that not to far from now I will be living inside a trashcan. Go Morning Sickness!
Today I am thankful for a wonderful day, for the marigolds that we planted, for the love of my husband, for the joy of my children and for the new life within my body.
Thank you, God for all that you have given me today.
Doubt surrounds me and holds me in its cold arms.
Doubt in
. . . my husband's job.
. . . my ability to be patient.
. . . my role as a future teacher.
. . . my ability to be a friend.
. . . my fertility.
. . . my leadership.
But through these doubts is the warm embrace of hope
Hope that
. . . I will soon have my husband back.
. . . I will be patient.
. . . I will be a great teacher.
. . . I am a great friend.
. . . I will have more children.
. . . I am becoming a great leader.
My doubts are many but small compared to the hope I feel.
Life will change as it always does and I will develop new doubts.
Hope will overcome those as well.
For Tiffany's birthday we got her barbie size Tinkerbell fairies because we had been reading the books and for Christmas she received her first Barbie doll. But she quickly grew tired of them and started playing with the My Little Ponies that she got from her McDonald's Happy Meals. I love watching her play with them and it reminded me of how I loved playing with the ponies. Sure, I had a Barbie and Ken but nothing could replace my ponies. In fact I played with them into my early twenties. As I watched her play, it occurred to me that my ponies had been lonely too long so I went up to the attic and introduced her to them. I can't express enough how much it means to me that she loves them as much as I did . . . and still do.