Refresh. Regrow. Renew.

Its amazing how I have forgotten the time and energy a baby can take. I have 'known' that once my angel was born and I had recovered that I would jump back to the blogging world which I love and grants me some sanity. That has sadly not been the case. She is absolutely the most wonderful baby anyone could ask for but she takes so much of me and I am left exhausted but still so happy. I'm sure the blogging world can do without me for a time but I still want to visit and eventually move back here. Until then I am posting my partially finished posts that I have started over the last couple of months and hope that it will sustain me while I adjust to my new schedule.

These are incomplete as far as writing is concerned but the general ideas are present.

Mixed Emotions

We all love our children unconditionally . . . I just wished that I could always like them as well.


Surprise!

There were many things about having my third child that took us all by surprise. So naturally, I feel compelled to write them all down so they do not get sucked into oblivion like so many other memories.

Get Back, Kat!

The last year I have been lost in the discomforts of pregnancy but now I finally feel like I am getting back to where I once belonged. Instead of nausea, I am happily eating. Instead of shortness of breathe, I am taking in comfortable and glorious air. Instead of fatigue, I am . . . feeling exhausted but I still feel better now than before.

Now I get to experience the other side of pregnancy, which is life with a newborn and two rowdy, fighting kids. I am happy, excited, frustrated, irritated and sleepy all within a few minutes, then I repeat not always in that order but all symptoms are all present. I love my sweet baby, my rowdy boy and my head strong girl but I am already looking forward to time spent without all of them needing me simultaneously. How do you nurse a baby, break up a fight, find a missing sock while cooking a healthy meal? The answer is that you don't and you have to be okay with that.



Hard to Be Me

There are many days that it is so hard to be me. I want to jump out and say, ' This is Me and I am really okay!' but I am too worried of what others may think. I never want to return to my old habits but my friends in the drug and alcohol world were almost easier to be with. I knew that no matter how weird I was that they would thrive on it instead of looking at me like I was insane. But I am insane at times. I try to keep this side of me hidden as much as possible so that no one will see the real me. Is that what God wants for me? To stay hidden and worry about what others may think. I don't think so. He wants me to be who he created - someone who loves to help others, loves to listen to rock music too loud and enjoys reading about serial killers.


Most of my life lessons have been taught by those who are less than reliable. I need to be someone who lets others help and teach me about all the things that were not taught to me when I was younger. Someone who is willing to learn from those much younger but who have so much more experience in what it means to be a Christian and a follower of Jesus.