Refresh. Regrow. Renew.

Its been awhile since I have visited.  Perhaps with a shiny new laptop, the completion of homeschool and the addition of meds I will visit more often.  Its been such a roller coaster lately, but oh so good.  I was diagnosed AD/HD early this summer, after suffering from a terrible episode of depression, but with the addition of Adderall in my life everything is so much clearer.  I didn't really believe I was AD/HD before starting meds but now that I have ben on them for awhile, I feel as though my life has been wasted until now.  Ok, so that sounds a bit overly dramatic but I look back at my life and I can see all of the different ways that I could have felt better about my life, in my life, around my life.  I thank God everyday for making me go to this saint of a doctor who actually listened to me, all my ravings and made really good decisions regarding my health.  So here are some things that I have been able to do since Adderall has joyfully entered my life:  clean kitchen, clean living area, begin organizing 38 years of clutter, control my temper, control my eating, lose weight (25 lbs), read the bible (at Jeremiah), be happier, be less anxious, listen when people talk, love my children more, love my husband more.  I could go on but then you would need Adderall to finish it.  Things are actually rough right now also.  We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog Daphne.  I am going to have to say goodbye to my most beautiful Princess who I have had since she was just a kitten.  We just found that our other dog has a tumor.  There are so many things we are also trying to get done that have overwhelmed me a bit not to mention playdates, homeschool, ballet, PE, bible study, exercise, blah, blah, blah.  I wonder where I would be if I didn't have Adderall to level this crazy playing field of life.  Probably sitting next to someone named Dandelion who periodically jumps up, runs around naked screaming about howling monkeys taking over the world.  So I will take my meds joyfully knowing that I am okay and even with all this craziness in my life, I am really happy. 

Where has she gone?  Is she hiding by the river?  Perhaps, somewhere hugging a tree?  Sadly no, she is hiding somewhere in my mind.  I can feel her beating on her metal walls begging to be released not knowing why she has been bound.  How she got there, I do not know.  But soon, I will discover the key and set her free once more. 

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.